This was inspired by the Baby Oku I bought for my boss today at 10am. Let’s hope God forgives me.
I don’t understand women. The one I have at home is a specimen I don’t even know how to operate. Yesterday morning, she was sitting, staring at me like I am the devourer or something. I was confused. What did I do? Was it not just sex? Why did people like to act like sex isn’t a everyday activity or even a basic necessity of life like shitting, eating, talking or masturbating. Everybody is doing it. And if somebody can mess without permission or steal meat from the pot why do I have to ask for permission before I sleep with my wife? Did I not pay her bride price? Do I not provide food for her insides, clothing for her body and shelter over her head? So why can she not give me sex? Just sex. Two to three minutes of satisfaction. Besides, I was reading in all the magazine that have naked girl on the cover that Sola used to bring to the office that woman enjoy sex more than man. After all, when one dip the cottonbud inside the ear, it is the ear that moans, not the cottonbud. So why was she now pretending like she did not want it? Why was she looking at me like I do something bad. I have sex with my wife. That is what happen. Finish. I don’t understand them at all. I sha tell her sorry that why is she looking like kele has carry her like that, and me I ask her that she did not enjoy it? And I enter to the bathroom to first do my morning ritual of shitting for thirty minutes and then inside bathroom to take my bath. I was even reasoning thinking of calling her for hot water but the way she was looking put hot fear in my mind and I just use cold water like that. Before she will bring hot water and pour it all over my body. When I enter to the office and I tell Sola what happen, he even insult me and tell me that why will I be fearing for my own wife? That how will she be pouring hot water on my body when I am the one that buy even the pant that I tear from her body. But he do not see the way she was looking at me. To be honest ehn, that her look will have kill small child. She did not frown but the face is hard. And her eyes – her eyes. It was just looking like it was seeing my soul inside me. Ah, I will not lie, fear catch me oo. But when I return home that night she had pounded pounded yam and cook egusi with plenty fish inside. She cook my favourite food for me. See, I was just smiling like he-goat. All my thirty two teeth is just be shining outside. She sitting beside me as I eat, letting me feed her and cleaning soup that strayed to my cheek. She then send Ebudola and Itunuoluwa our children to their room and after we finish my food, she drag me–yes oo, drag, with her own hand–to the room and put off all her cloths and her pant and she just bend down and remove my belt and my trouser pull it down and put my thing in her mouth. The thing was so sweet. And peppery somehow. The pepper in the soup was still in her mouth but it just add to the sweetness I swear. My head is just looking at the ceiling with my hands on top of them. She was sucking it like tomtom and blowing air like fan and licking it like sweet. Her tongue is doing like snake doing sshp ssshp sssshp on my thing. And me that I drink baby oku at work. It is like I know what will happen. I just carry her like that and throw her on our bed and I show her why she marry me. My thing is Moses’s staff her laps is the red sea. I was pumping and pumping and she was shouting and calling God and my name and I am sure the children must have been thinking ah daddy is beating mummy oo. I pump for like fifteen minutes. I was just going like hulk hogan. Gbish gbash gbim gbam gbos gbim all our bed was going. I was just saying Jumoke Jumoke Jumoke Jumoke punctuating it with Jesu Jesu Jesu. I take her from the front and then the back and I even try one they say it is scissors but when her neck look like it want to break I stop and go back to doggy. As I am giving her she is taking it. As I am giving her she is taking it. As I am giving her she is taking it, bouncing up and down like basketball. I fire her well! When I finally pour inside her, I was just smiling like goat again ni. And she did not look at me like that again. She smile and say “Baba Ebu you are my king.” And me I say “Iya Ebu you are an excellent Olori.”