Man As God


There is a saying in Ibo language that goes “No two people are the same”, although the Yorubas believe that everyone was created in twos, I on the other hand, despite my tribe, have always taken sides with the Igbo people on this matter, I do not want to believe that there is someone out there who dresses, thinks and looks exactly like I do, I do not believe that anyone else could be this awesome :D.

The bible says where two or three are gathered, there is the presence of the Lord, I say, where two or three Nigerians are gathered, there exists gossip. When the average Nigerian boy sits to talk with his friends, if they are not talking about football or music, they are most definitely discussing girls. How one girl behaves all “sainty” but is actually a freak, how one goes from her boyfriend’s house to church to minister, or how one has slept with everyone.
Girls one the other hand. LOL. How one boy (who they have slept with btw) is so ugly and dirty, how the girl staying in the upperbunk had sex in Anglomoz, how they wonder what that cute boy is doing with that girl who dresses so bad, or how the girl who loves lying has so much “Sculopy™” in her fine tight dress. People gossip, it is like a way of life, a tradition.

Asides the gossip and the “Oh my God she had Ice-cream sex”, we judge like it’s the sixth sense, we believe that just because we think something is cool or right, it is, and everyone with an opposing opinion is wrong. We love foreign music so those who listen to Nigerian music are local and razz. We sip tea and chew bread so those who dip bread in tea are stupid. We listen to rap music so those who listen to pop are fruity and gay. We rarely change out dp and pm so those who do are attention seekers. It is not cool to us so it’s not cool at all!

I will be honest, I am very guilty too, let me be graphic for the first time ever, there is this dude in my class with a PARIS chain and I make fun of him (behind his back :() every chance I get, it’s not cool to me so how dare it be cool to him. Or how the dude with the Yoruba cap and beads on t-Shirt and jeans with sneakers looks so stupid. It’s razz to me so how can he think he looks fashionable?

We judge like we are perfect and can do no wrong, forgetting our past. We get angry at those who send bcs forgetting that we used to send 7 jokes a day with all those creepy and annoying autotext stuffs when we just got out BlackBerry devices. We unfollow the #TeamFollowback voltrons forgetting how we famzed Tunde Ednut and Eldee for a followback when we just opened a Twitter account.
As the opening paragraph stated, no two people are the same, no two people were designed to think in the same manner, skinny jeans is cool to me and my friend loves bootcut while his brother prefers baggy jeans. People should learn to cut others some slack just because they do not meet your “coolness criteria” because that shirt you love so much, Dangote’s son won’t look at it twice.


7 thoughts on “Man As God

  1. Sweetheart, when two or three are gathered IN HIS NAME, He’s there. That aside, everyone judges, some more than others. I still think you’re gay. Toodles.


  2. We all judge, our levels of doing so only differs. I must say it’s difficult not to. Nice piece, as always. My 10k/month editorial offer is still open. You’ll need it. Lastly, as the last ‘commenter’ said, I think so too.


  3. I’m so apy u admit to being a judge urself. I remember d dayz of ur famzin Tunde Ednut. Nice piece anyway, kip it up.

    PS- He’s not gay trust me I knw


  4. This is cool as always I hate people judging me and I also judge though I try to caution myself it’s just the way humans are no one is perfect anyway. Awesome piece! We expect more.


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