Of Shortening Rations And Slying Guys

They say no man is an island and I fully understand. I mean, to be sincere, no one is self-sufficient, we all need friends.
If you’re an avid reader of my articles, you would find that I am (was actually) a loner, not that I do not have friends, I do, just a few.

Growing up, I had just two of them and we shared everything! Both the “sayables” and the “unspeakables”, then the eggheads grew up and went ahead to make new friends, ugh! Like I was not enough *rolls eyes*

I was reading a blog recently (dirtydisgraceng.blogspot.co.uk for those of us who enjoy gossip) where a group of friends are having their secrets leaked to the world by someone who is evidently an insider. That is the problem with friends, as long as we are human, we can never know the ones true to us, a yoruba adage says “It is who we love that we know, we do not know those who love us”. There have been instances (from movies now) where a person would pretend to be a friend of another just to syphon off information from the other person or just to snatch his/her girlfriend/boyfriend (see glee).

Asides the back stabbing and all, people’s nature also come into consideration, one of my favourite tweeps tweeted “Tell one girl and she tells another”, I personally believe that girls, due to their fragile heart cannot help not keeping their wide mouths shut! They must talk. Tell a girl your deepest secret and she’ll tell her best friend, when the girl and the best friend have a row, the best friend goes “And that her stupid boyfriend that has stolen ₦10,000 before”, next thing you know, everyone in school is talking about how you are a thief all because your girlfriend could not keep her mouth shut (no, this did not happen to me in case you were wondering).

I’ve always held the opinion that the more friends you have, the more lies you tell. I hate lies. Where your friend who stays in the school hostel wants to bring one of his girlfriends to your room overnight to sleep with her and you are so tired you just want to sleep on your own bed, knowing that is not a good enough reason to “sly” your friend, you tell him you have a project due the next morning and you have to type it overnight (this also did not happen to me :D).

And the money aspect, hian! “Let us buy gala” which actually translates to “Idiot buy gala for us”, “Buy coke for me nah”, “Make we shaye tonight nah oga”, “You get 2H for hand? I no get change”. And they NEVER return your money! Shortening one’s ration of food too.

Don’t get me wrong though, I am for friends, they have saved my asses countless times, I know I can never go hungry when I’m broke because I always have a friend to run to, I can not get stranded in school overnight because there is always a friend who would “shift” for me to sleep, I love them, I would do anything for them (except let them bang a girl in my room overnight without letting me in on the action).

The truth like I said is that no one is self sufficient, we all need someone to talk to, to gossip with when PHCN “takes light”, we should however tread with caution because even Peter denied Christ thrice.


9 thoughts on “Of Shortening Rations And Slying Guys

  1. This is the first time I’m reading your piece. Not bad. But what’s with seeing glee and letting you on the action? Do glee watching gay men actually have sex? I’m just asking. On the real though, having friends has its own ads and disads, we just gotta tread carefully. You might need an editor too. For 10k/monthly, I’m in.


  2. People, especially friends are overrated. When it boils down to what really matters (matters of life and death), you are on your own. No one really truly cares. The best they can do is talk nshit and I’m sure you’ll agree that that almost always solves nothing. I’ll rather be with my gadgets, and booze.


  3. Omg! Fuck face this is a good piece.
    But pause. The ‘girl banging’ part is erm……
    Ok. Just greet uncle perez hilton 4 me sha.
    Signed : your no1 fan 😀


  4. “Gossiping” “glee”. Goodness me. You make these things too easy. Good write-up really. Some of us prefer to call people acquaintances to avoid getting hurt. Lol. And hey! I’m proud to be one of your favorites!


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