There is this joke that has been tweeted over a million times on twitter, it goes “The Human brain is one of the most efficient machines made, it works right from when we are born to the point where we fall in Love”.
Growing up, I did not believe in love, although, I realise now that the issue was that I didn’t really understand the concept. It is difficult to understand how a human could turn into a complete moron all because he/she is attracted to someone else, complete bullocks!
In a “conventional” Nigerian home, love rarely exists between a couple. Like, where the marriage was fixed between two affluent families, where a man has four wives, or even where one was instructed by a Pastor/Alfa to marry a particular man/woman because God said so. As a typical Nigerian boy (who dips his bread in tea), my eyes had been open to circumstances such as these and love seemed like a farce which existed only in books just like the idea of a perfect market.
Becoming a born again Christian, I was made to believe that God is love, and for one to believe in God, you had to believe in love, the latter was a subset of the former, and to accept the existence of the first, you had no option but to accept the other too. That was when I came up with the theory that love – just like perfection – was a feat only achievable by God, hence, the Calvaric tales.
Growing up and making friends, I finally accepted the existence of love and the foolishness it caused. Love is a disease. I did this, not because I wanted to, but because I had no choice but to blame the so many “supernatural” occurrences that had occurred on that four-lettered demon. No, just in case you were wondering, I have not felt the mushy-yucky thing, not yet. But, I have watched my friends suffer from the disease, a friend is unable to concentrate in school because her ex (who she’s still in love with but cannot be with because he’s moved to another city) is totally ignoring her and telling her that there can be nothing between them anymore. Another is devastated and sad because his girlfriend who I like to refer to as the school hoe (behind his back of course) dumped him. One is considering to kiss and make up with a boyfriend who not only cheated on her but lied about so many other things and “badmouths” his “G’s”. I do not want to believe that these friends who display intelligence in so many other aspects of life just happen to be dummies when it comes to relationships, I blame it on love, that devil!
What’s worse is that, I secretly (not much of a secret now) have a craving for this disease (forget that I’m hypochondriac), like, I want to suffer badly from it, I want to go on my knees and beg when I’m broken up with, I want to be in a boring class and be thinking of someone else, I want to feel like death all because I have not talked to someone all day.
My friends say I’m too cynical to fall in love, they say I’ll keep on second guessing and treading softly in every relationship I go into and I will not be able to fall completely in love. But what do we know? We are just a bunch of inexperienced youths (and teenagers) trying to figure out the essence of life and knows nothing about love.